Child & Family Therapy

It is not the divorce per se which can cause lifelong emotional scars…it’s how it is dealt with.  The impact of separation and divorce is frequently imulti-layered.  Often much goes underground.  Children often blame themselves, face loyalty binds, find themselves caretaking parents, and suffer alone and in silence.  

divorce

Moving onthe challenges and complexity of dealing with new partners and living in stepfamilies can be enormous.  I work with individuals, children, and families in multiple constellations to create a safe and respectful space to:

— understand and articulate feelings, questions, experiences and needs

— listen and understand (to the best of one’s ability) to each other

— make healthy decisions about life going forward 

— grieve the losses and still find a way to pull together as a family and look optimistically toward a bright future

The following books and resources can be very helpful:

Helping Your Children Cope with Divorce (Random House, 1998) by M. Gary Neuman.  Very helpful in understanding what children go through.

Simple and clear but critical article detailing 12 general and very important cornerstones of parenting during divorce: 12 Ways to Help Your Kids Deal With Divorce

Mom’s House, Dad’s House (Simon & Shuster, 1997) by Isolina Ricci.  A classic guide for divorce, shared parenting, self-care, and creating parenting plans

On Stepfamilies:

Dr. Patricia Papernow is one of today’s foremost experts on stepfamilies.  Her new book is Surviving and Thriving in Stepfamily Relationships: What Works and What Doesn't (Routledge, 2013).  Here is a short article about a simple, but profound topic: Steps to Ease Dinner Stress for Stepfamilies.   Here is a video of her recent interview with Katie Couric.